For most daughters-in-law, the arrival of the mother-in-law is a great stress. It’s not even worth talking about how to live with her, it’s clear that not everyone can stand that way. But even if she is going to visit you for a couple of weeks, the daughter-in-law will face a considerable challenge. It is clear that two housewives in the house - this is to the problems. Each woman has her own rules of housekeeping and her own troubles that a stranger cannot understand. You can be annoyed by one, she - by another, in the end, each will be unhappy. But if the meeting can not be avoided, then it is necessary to prepare for it as much as possible and tune in to the positive.
Let's look at the recommendations given by psychologist Harry Chapman, known for his book "Five Languages of Love." First, he advises to understand how you feel about your mother-in-law, what feelings you feel about her. Depending on this, and will need to adjust their behavior. If you already subconsciously feel hatred, then you need to suppress it, calm down and try to begin to perceive the husband's mother a little differently.
The psychologist advises to treat the mother-in-law not as an enemy or as a friend, but as a close interlocutor. On an unfamiliar person you can not get angry over trifles. You do not show him your character, trying to look as good as possible, you want to seem hospitable. Try to treat the mother-in-law that way. You do not need to immediately label her with shaky shrews that you must fight. Immediately give up these thoughts, besides, it is possible to talk with the interlocutor on an equal footing, without being humiliated, but without putting him below him. This is the ideal position to talk with his husband's mother.
Secondly, do not argue over trifles. It may be better if you spend less time at home, leaving mom and son to spend time together. However, you should not disappear at work or with friends, otherwise your mother-in-law will have a chance to accuse you of not paying attention to your husband.
Try to communicate with the mother-in-law friendly. Do not try to impose your own rules on her. Suffer these few weeks, live a short time as she used to.
Try to speak on those topics that like mother-in-law and will not force you to enter into an argument with her. For example, about your husband. Praise him more, ask about his childhood. She will like such conversations, and it will not be difficult for you to admire your loved one.
If there is a conflict between you, you need to hush it up. Stay alone and frankly ask why she is unhappy. During the conversation, be respectful, be tactful and calmly figure everything out.
Do not force your man to take someone's side. It can not burst. He loves you as a woman, but she is his mother, and that means both of you are important to him. The only thing he can do is tell you in advance about her mother’s habits, what she doesn’t like, what she’s used to, what you shouldn’t do with her. Knowing the nuances, many conflicts can be avoided.
For a moment, you can see that the man has changed and under his mother has become a naughty boy who needs to be protected. Do not make out of this tragedy and do not start a quarrel. Believe me, as soon as his mom leaves, he will take on his courageous image, his infantilism is a temporary event that can be experienced.
Meeting with his mother is, of course, a test, but if you don’t program yourself for conflicts and quarrels with the mother-in-law, but try to understand it, then everything can turn out quite well. Enter her position and be tactful, then you can keep the peace in your family.
