A complaint is one of the varieties of information that carries a negative charge. Unfortunately, among the people around us there are many who are used to or feel the need to voice complaints about any occasion. Do we need to listen to stories about other people's problems?
First of all, it is worth noting that they usually willingly complain to someone who is satisfied with listening to complaints or has great pity, guilt. In any case, a functional block is formed in which, on the one hand, the need to listen, on the other, the desire to complain.
How do complaints affect us?
Everything that we listen to has a tendency to accumulate in the subconscious and becomes our way of life. The quality of information largely determines the quality of life of people, so it is very easy for a person-vest to become like a "garbage container". Watch what you agree with! And if you want to have fewer problems in your life and decide not to listen “how not to live” - you have the right to demand from others that they do not load their problems on you, but solve them yourself.
How to minimize the impact of complaints on your psyche
Of course, from a friend or person close to you can not be required to tell you only good news. But the habit of coming to you for sympathy and empathy must be reduced to cases of extreme necessity, when he needs help from you as real actions, and not just listening.
Of course, this will not happen instantly, since you previously lowered your self-esteem by agreeing to listen to the negative and allowing others to enter your life. Therefore, do not be upset when the second and third people speak, after you have just offered to shut up the first.
Be persistent, and you will succeed. In such cases, psychologists recommend sticking to the “diet” of good news. Self-esteem is a discipline. We need to fulfill all obligations, first of all to ourselves, then to others. If we promised ourselves and did not, then we let ourselves down, lowered our self-esteem and thereby agreed to such neglect of others from our people. And vice versa, if they have fulfilled their obligations, they have the right to demand the same from others. This circumstance fully applies to complaints and complainants.
